Project 333 - Month 3

I made it to Month 3 without any problems.

The pair of pyjama bottoms I ordered in September never arrived and I have managed to live without them so I'm not going to reorder them.

At the end of this month I get to decide what goes into my next 3 month (January-March) capsule.

I know I want my right hand ring back so I'm going to exchange my Star of David with the cross inside for it. 

Because I wear a lanyard with an ID badge for work I tend not to wear a necklace because it's one too many things around my neck. 

I think I also want a pair of slippers, especially for when I'm working from home in my basement office. I currently wear socks with my flip-flops, which I know we all agree is not a great look!

I have to figure out what I will give up in exchange for those slippers. It might be my formerly favourite pair of black Mary Janes. The velcro keeps popping open on the left shoe and I have a brown pair that works just fine. Or I might give up a long sleeve dress shirt because I don't think I've even worn all of five of them over the past almost three months.

I'm not sure if I'll make many more changes though because what I currently have will serve me well until the next switch.

20 in 2020

20 Things I'm Thankful for from 2020

(in no particular order)

1. DD and DS3 enjoy going swimming

2. DD using her creativity to make a face mask, body scrub, and more

3. DH and DD painted the kitchen

4. DH built a garbage hut

5. DH celebrated a milestone birthday

6. DS1 doing very well in his co-op placement where DH works

7. DS2 started high school

8. I finished my genealogy blog

9. I have been in an acting manager position at the Library since August

10. My mom moved closer to us

11. New roof on the house

12. Oldest nephew started army training

13. Oldest niece engaged

14. Piano lessons for DS2, DS3, DD

15. Summer getaway to Cobourg

16. & 17. Two new nieces born

18. We can attend church in our pjs

19. We got a basketball net stand and DS3 enjoyed playing this summer

20. Everyone is healthy

Planning 21 for 2021

From Gretchen Rubin's If You Don’t Want to Make a New Year’s Resolution, Consider Writing Your “21 for 2021” List post:

A "21 for 2021" list is a list of 21 concrete things we want to accomplish by the end of 2021.

Why make a "21 for 2021" list at all?

Research shows that people who construct their goals in concrete terms are 50 percent more likely to feel confident they will attain their goals and 32 percent more likely to feel in control of their lives.

Twists on the idea:

• make a list of things that you'll stop doing
• use your birthday instead of the calendar year, such as 30 by 30.
• tailor it to single area of your life, like work, fun, or family life
• create a list with others, such as a sweetheart or family, to tackle the items together
• decorate your list
• make a list that only includes things that are fun
• use the number 21 within the list, such as "Read 21 books" or "Visit 21 diners"
• make item #21 "Swap out one item on this list for something I'd rather do"

If you'd like a sheet where you can write your "21 for 2021" list neatly, download yours here.

Downloads available include:

"21 for 20201" List

Looking for a new, creative way to identify your aims for 2021? Try making a “21 for 2021” list! List twenty-one things you’d like to do by 2022. These items can be easy or ambitious; one-time undertakings or habits that stretch for years; fun or...less fun. There’s no one right way to make your list—just think about what you want the new year to hold.

Read 21 in 2021

Boost your happiness by reading for 21 minutes every day of 2021. Use this checklist to track your progress and check days off as you go—gold star for you! Imagine how great it will feel to get to the end of 2021 and think back on all the reading you did over the course of the year.

Walk 21 in 2021

Walk for 21 minutes every day in 2021 with the "Happier with Gretchen Rubin" podcast community. Use this PDF to track your progress and check each day off as you go. Don't break the chain!

I'll be posting my lists in by the end of the year.

Project 333 - Month 2

This month I attended a wedding and it was a relief to have limited options in my closet and to know that anything I picked would fit and look acceptable to me.

I bought myself two pairs of Christmas themed socks without thinking and, while socks don't count, I wish I had been a little more mindful around that.

I bought a package of plain masks because my patterned ones don't always match my outfits or are a bit too fun for work.

Project 333 - Month 1

I started my Project 333 on October 1st. Here's how the first month went.

A friend gave me a beautiful long cardigan in Fall colours so I decided to let go of a pair of black dress pants that were past their prime.

I hemmed a different pair of dress pants that I had included because if I didn't get to that I would have wasted one of my selections.

While I would have loved to have two pairs of jogging pants instead of one, it's good that I am forced to wear something more "structured" when working from home.

My only pair of pyjama bottoms tore this month (I had purchased them second hand from a thrift store) so I replaced them.

I wish I had selected:

1 more t-shirt

1 more long-sleeved casual shirt

the rose gold ring I usually wear on my right hand

I would have given these up:

1 pair of dress pants

1 dress shirt

silver necklace with Star of David and cross - though I did get out the silver polish and clean it up

Other than that I'm fairly happy with my choices. Hopefully I have planned well as the colder weather arrives.

Ikigai

I read about this concept in "The 5-Minute Recharge: 31 Proven Strategies to Refresh, Reset, and Become the Boss of Your Day," and am sharing an article I found about it.

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Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life Might Just Help You Live a More Fulfilling Life
Thomas Oppong
Jan 10, 2018

Photo by Tianshu Liu on Unsplash

In Japan, millions of people have ikigai (pronounced Ick-ee-guy)— a reason to jump out of bed each morning.

What’s your reason for getting up in the morning?

The Japanese island of Okinawa, where ikigai has its origins, is said to be home to the largest population of centenarians in the world.

Could the concept of ikigai contribute to longevity?

Dan Buettner, author of Blue Zones: Lessons on Living Longer from the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, believes it does.

According to Buettner, the concept of ikigai is not exclusive to Okinawans: “there might not be a word for it but in all four blue zones such as Sardinia and Nicoya Peninsula, the same concept exists among people living long lives.”

Buettner suggests making three lists: your values, things you like to do, and things you are good at. The cross section of the three lists is your ikigai.

Studies show that losing one’s purpose can have a detrimental effect.

American mythologist and author Joseph Campbell once said, “My general formula for my students is “Follow your bliss.” Find where it is, and don’t be afraid to follow it.”

Image: Toronto Star

“Your ikigai is at the intersection of what you are good at and what you love doing,” says Hector Garcia, the co-author of Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life. He writes,“Just as humans have lusted after objects and money since the dawn of time, other humans have felt dissatisfaction at the relentless pursuit of money and fame and have instead focused on something bigger than their own material wealth. This has over the years been described using many different words and practices, but always hearkening back to the central core of meaningfulness in life.”

ikigai is seen as the convergence of four primary elements:
What you love (your passion)
What the world needs (your mission)
What you are good at (your vocation)
What you can get paid for (your profession)

Discovering your own ikigai is said to bring fulfilment, happiness and make you live longer.

Want to find your Ikigai? Ask yourself the following four questions:

1. What do I love?

2. What am I good at?

3. What can I be paid for now — or something that could transform into my future hustle?

4. What does the world need?

In their book Ikigai The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life, Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles break down the ten rules that can help anyone find their own ikigai.

1. Stay active and don’t retire

2. Leave urgency behind and adopt a slower pace of life

3. Only eat until you are 80 per cent full

4. Surround yourself with good friends

5. Get in shape through daily, gentle exercise

6. Smile and acknowledge people around you

7. Reconnect with nature

8. Give thanks to anything that brightens our day and makes us feel alive.

9. Live in the moment

10. Follow your ikigai

What you deeply care about can unlock your ikigai
Follow your curiosity.

Philosopher and civil rights leader Howard W Thurman said, “Ask what makes you come alive and go do it.” … “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

The problem for millions of people is that they stop being curious about new experiences as they assume responsiblities and build routines.

Their sense of wonder starts to escape them.

But you can change that, especially if you are still looking for meaning and fulfilment in what you do daily.

Albert Einstein encourages us to pursue our curiosities. He once said:

“Don’t think about why you question, simply don’t stop questioning. Don’t worry about what you can’t answer, and don’t try to explain what you can’t know. Curiosity is its own reason. Aren’t you in awe when you contemplate the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure behind reality? And this is the miracle of the human mind — to use its constructions, concepts, and formulas as tools to explain what man sees, feels and touches. Try to comprehend a little more each day. Have holy curiosity.”

A classic example is Steve Jobs’ curiosity for typefaces which led him to attend a seemingly useless class on typography and to develop his design sensibility.

Later, this sensibility became an essential part of Apple computers and Apple’s core differentiator in the market.

We are born curious. Our insatiable drive to learn, invent, explore, and study deserves to have the same status as every other drive in our lives.

Fulfilment is fast becoming the main priority for most of us. Millions of people still struggle to find what they are meant to do. What excites them. What makes them lose the sense of time. What brings out the best in them.

“Our intuition and curiosity are very powerful internal compasses to help us connect with our ikigai,” Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles write.

What is the one simple thing you could do or be today that would be an expression of your ikigai?

Find it and pursue it with all you have, anything less is not worth your limited time on planet earth.

Project 333

Project 333

Wear just 33 items for 3 months and get back all the JOY you were missing while you were worrying about what to wear.[1]

I've been aware of this mindset/project but reading Courtney Carver's  Project 333 book recently was the impetus I needed to put things in motion.

Over the course of two days I examined all my clothing, shoes, accessories, and jewelry. Things that were easy to get rid of: didn't fit, didn't spark joy, wouldn't buy it in a store, worn out, will never actually wear it...

The first set of 3 months is October to December so I put away summer things I know I'll use next year, jewelry with sentimental value, and items over the 33 limit that I may want for my January to March, April to June, or July to September capsules.

My core items (things that I'll need every time) included:

1. Sunglasses

2. Backpack

3. Belt

4. Jeans

Other items:

5-8. Four pairs of dress pants

9-13. Long sleeve dress shirts (black & teal, purple stripes, green stripes, blue stripes, blue with lace)

14-16. Short sleeve dress shirts (black & white, grey & white, black & pink)

17-18. Long sleeve shirts (green with white stripes, purple with sparkles)

19-21. T-shirts (9/11, Joyful, red)

22. Jogging pants

23. Blue hoodie

24. Rose gold necklace from work colleagues

25. Silver necklace with cross inside Star of David

26. Winter jacket (it's made up of 2 pieces so I can wear just the outer part until it gets colder)

27. Navy scarf (picked one that can be used as an accessory as well)

28. Winter hat

29. Winter gloves 

30. Winter boots

31. Running shoes

32. Black Mary Janes

33. Brown Mary Janes

Thankfully the rules don't count wedding rings, undergarments, socks, and sleepwear.

I also didn't count my silver hoop earrings that never come out, two medallions with my grandparents fingerprints on them in a silver strand, and two work branded shirts.

As a result of this project I donated over 130 items.

I'm happy with my lighter load.

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Resources:
1. https://bemorewithless.com/project-333/

2. https://onelifeofkai.wordpress.com/2018/09/12/project-333-capsule-wardrobe-update/

Shana Tova, לְשָׁנָה טוֹבָה

Ancestry recently sent an update and my husband is now showing as 3% Jewish. 

But that's not the reason we observe some Jewish holy days. As Christians we follow Jesus, who was Jewish, so the roots of Christianity can be found in Judaism.

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From a CNN article:

Bringing in a New Year in September
Rosh Hashanah, which means "head of the year" in Hebrew, is a two-day celebration that marks the beginning of the Jewish High Holy Days each autumn.

The New Year inaugurates 10 days of repentance, also known as Days of Awe. They lead into Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which this year is on Sunday, September 27. That's followed by Sukkot, of the Feast of Tabernacles, commemorating how God protected the Israelites as they wandered the desert in search of the Promised Land.

A holiday of reflection
Traditionally, Rosh Hashanah is about acknowledging where we might have fallen short in the previous year and how to repair ourselves and the world in the coming year

Whether or not you're Jewish, he explained, there's value in the spiritual and emotional exercise of honestly contemplating your actions this year, and what you want most out of your life.

What's your legacy?
Finally, the New Year reflection gives us a chance to envision our future. JewBelong created a tombstone tool, asking people to type in what they might like to have written on their tombstone, encapsulating the meaning of their life.

Sources:

You Just Found Out You’re Jewish – 3 Things You Need to Consider

In a year filled with pandemic and election madness, the Jewish New Year allows for a time to reflect and renew

Autism Article Round-Up: July 2020

See-through masks helping those with autism, hearing loss

July 9, 2020

NEW YORK -- A New Yorker, now living in Seattle, is on a mission to expand the availability of see-through masks amid the Coronavirus pandemic.

Gypsy Lovett launched Not My Circus Co. on Etsy and quickly began receiving orders from people around the country.

The masks require regular treatment to prevent fogging. Lovett provides instructions with each order.

Lovett said the masks have been particularly popular among people working with children, individuals with hearing loss and their families, and individuals with autism.

Many individuals with autism have sensory sensitivities irritated by traditional masks and rely on visual cues like a smile or a frown for communication.

"It's not touching my mouth," said Lovett while demonstrating her design. "So for kids with sensory issues, I find this more helpful. I have had a number of families who have just reached out to say, 'Thank you so much. Our whole family has really been struggling.'"

Lovett's masks aren't FDA-approved, but they have been popular among everyday users.

She also hopes the FDA approves additional sources of see-through masks in part because she has had her own personal experiences struggling to communicate with doctors wearing a mask.

In the meantime, Lovett said, she's been grateful for the opportunity to give back during the COVID-19 pandemic.

"What I have come to appreciate is how much you miss in communication when you can only see someone's eyes," Lovett said. "It restores a little bit of humanity for all of us perhaps."

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Twitter thread by Pete Wharmby
@commaficionado
July 5, 2020

Anyone #autistic managed to make a living from a special interest? Share here to help inspire other autistic people.

#AllAutistics

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A Glimpse Into My Son’s Magnificent Mind

By Paige Martin Reynolds

July 10, 2020

Max’s autism diagnosis three years ago gave me an unspeakable sense of relief. When a friend asked me later that day how I was feeling, I could only describe it in this way: “I feel empty and full at the same time.”

After years of being dismissed as hysterical and overprotective, I welcomed the diagnosis as overdue validation. To be seen and heard is always humanizing, and as a woman in the world, I have confronted my own invisibility more times than I wish to recall. The diagnosis, in my mind, represented progress.

[...] there is a kind of wildness and whimsy to our home’s untidiness, an unpredictability that mirrors the neurological difference produced by Max’s migration abnormalities. Spatula in the bathroom? Bewildering. Four backpacks, two shoe boxes and an old purse stacked in my study, full of toys and trifles and important documents? Overwhelming.

Last autumn when my best friend visited, she looked at me endearingly and said, “Why are there pennies everywhere?”

I don’t know why, my friend, but I do know who.

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‘Love On The Spectrum’ Explores The Dating Lives Of People With Autism

By Corey Atad

July 7, 2020

“What is the most important thing in life? Many people would answer: LOVE. There is a common misconception that people on the autism spectrum are not interested in relationships or romance. From my experience, this simply isn’t true,” said director Cian O’Cleary to Entertainment Weekly in a statement.

Autism Article Round-Up: June 2020

Using functional MRI to demonstrate neural suppression in autism
Reviewed by Emily Henderson, B.Sc.
May 29 2020

According to the National Autism Association, people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) may experience sensory hypersensitivity. A University of Minnesota Medical School researcher recently published an article in Nature Communications that illustrates why that may be true by showing the differences in visual motion perception in ASD are accompanied by weaker neural suppression in the visual cortex of the brain.

While experts in neuroscience and psychiatry recognize that differences in sensory functioning are common among people with ASD, it is not currently understood what is happening differently in the brain on a neural level to cause the variations in sensory perception.

Using functional MRI and visual tasks, lead author Michael-Paul Schallmo, PhD, assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the U of M Medical School, and a team of researchers at the University of Washington found:

• People with ASD show enhanced perception of large moving stimuli compared to neuro-typical individuals;
• Brain responses to these visual stimuli are different among young adults with ASD compared to neuro-typical individuals. In particular, brain responses in visual cortex show less neural suppression in ASD;
• A computational model can describe the difference in brain responses.

"Our work suggests that there may be differences in how people with ASD focus their attention on objects in the visual world that could explain the difference in neural responses we are seeing and may be linked to symptoms like sensory hypersensitivity." - Michael-Paul Schallmo, Ph.D., assistant professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the U of M Medical School

Schallmo is currently working with collaborators at the U of M on a follow-up study of visual and cognitive functioning in youth with ASD, Tourette syndrome, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Having a better understanding of how these different disorders affect brain function could lead to new screenings to better identify kids who are at risk for ASD and related conditions. It may also help scientists to find new targets for studies seeking to improve treatments for sensory symptoms in these disorders.

Source: University of Minnesota Medical School
Journal reference: Schallmo, M., et al. (2020) Weaker neural suppression in autism. Nature Communications . doi.org/10.1038/s41467-020-16495-z.

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Coronavirus: Distance learning poses challenges for some families of children with disabilities

By Jess Whitley

June 1, 2020

At a time when schools are closed due to COVID-19, many parents are juggling work, finances, child care and distance learning. It’s a lot to manage. For parents of children with disabilities, some unique challenges have emerged.

In Canada, it’s unclear exactly how many students between kindergarten and Grade 12 receive what schools call “special education services,” but according to provincial figures, percentages range from 10 per cent to 20 per cent of total student enrolment.

Figures from Ontario, Québec, British Columbia, Alberta, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick show there are more than 750,000 students receiving special education services out of about 4.3 million students enrolled in those provinces alone.

Students receiving special education services may have a learning disability, autism spectrum disorder or a mental illness. Canadian schools offer different types of supports. Most children access differentiated teaching approaches in regular classes and some have individual learning plans, while others participate in tailored programs offered in specialized classes.

Some students who find structured schooling to be a poor fit are benefiting from the shift to a more relaxed pace and self-directed learning. They can dance, jump and wiggle to their heart’s content. They can engage in tasks for a length of time that works for them and make choices during their days. The right kind of distance learning paired with accessible technology and available supports may be a great fit for them.

Other students who thrive on a predictable routine, struggle with transitions and depend on the strong relationships built over time with teachers and educational assistants are experiencing a range of emotions, including worry, fear, anger and sadness.

Some feel that they’ve lost a second home and may not understand why. Some students may also communicate these difficult emotions in ways that are challenging for parents, caregivers and siblings.

Family challenges

Parents of students who have worked hard to make gains in their learning worry that they may fall behind. This is particularly the case where parents may not have the English- or French-language skills to provide help or the time to engage with their children because of work and life commitments. Where internet access and technology in homes is the exception rather than the rule, the situation is further complicated.

Parents who typically work in partnership with school staff and community organizations are especially struggling with the disappearance of face-to-face networks and collaboration in supporting children.

Many researchers have found that parents of children with disabilities wear many hats — as full-time caregiver, advocate and social worker — and find the experience extraordinarily stressful. Without respite and collaboration with school staff, parents are describing feeling very overwhelmed.

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Meet the autistic scientists redefining autism research

Growing ranks of researchers on the spectrum are overcoming barriers — from neurotypical bias to sensory sensitivities — to shape autism science.

By Rachel Nuwer

June 10, 2020

“There’s a growing voice,” says autism researcher Damian Milton, chair of the Participatory Autism Research Collective, which promotes autistic people’s involvement in science. “I think in the future, there will be a lot more of us coming through — or trying to.”

Already, autistic academics are making a significant contribution to discoveries about autism. They regularly publish papers in leading academic journals, and they serve as editors of at least four autism journals and as board members and reviewers. Last year, they spearheaded the founding of an autistic researchers’ committee at the International Society for Autism Research, the professional group that organizes the world’s largest annual autism conference. And they have established groups such as the Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education to help autistic people partner with scientists on research projects.

These autistic scientists hope they will eventually become a major force in autism research. But obstacles to their academic success abound, from sensory overload at conferences to difficulties communicating with colleagues. Researchers may dismiss autistic scientists as ‘too autistic’ to produce quality science or, conversely, ‘not autistic enough’ for their insights to be useful. Slowly, though, these biases are fading, Botha says: “For every high-quality piece of work an autistic researcher puts out on autism, the more the autistic perspective will be valued or recognized.”

Involving the community in research goals is important because the types of autism research that get funded often differ from what autistic people want. For example, more than half of all autism research in the U.K. focuses on the underlying biology of autism — yet most of the 125 autistic people surveyed in a 2013 study said greater priority should go to research on public services, and almost half called for more research on improving life skills among autistic people. A 2015 survey of nearly 300 autistic individuals in the U.K. identified mental health as the most pressing research issue. And in a 2018 study conducted in the United States, 485 autistic individuals and their family members said they value research on health and well-being, the transition to adulthood and lifespan issues more than basic science research. “The outcomes that matter most [to people with autism] tie to improved quality of life,” Stewart says. Participatory research can give these preferences sway.

Steven Kapp, a lecturer in psychology at the University of Portsmouth in the U.K. and his colleagues showed that self-stimulatory behavior known as stimming — hand-flapping, rocking, spinning, verbal repetition and the like — is soothing for many autistic adults. The adults he interviewed objected to any treatments aimed at curtailing this behavior, a finding that suggests investing in such treatments is not useful.

Autistic researchers can also change the perspective of neurotypical scientists in important ways. Psychiatrist Laurent Mottron of the Rivière-des-Praries Hospital in Montreal, Canada, has spent much of the past 15 years working with Michelle Dawson, one of the first openly autistic researchers. Mottron wrote in a 2011 Nature commentary that Dawson had “helped the research team question many of our assumptions about autism — including that it is a problem to be solved.” As a result, Mottron has come to view autism as a natural variant within the human species, rather than “an error of nature that should be corrected.”

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For some students with learning disabilities, distance learning has been a disappointment 

By Andy Steiner

June 5, 2020

Distance learning can be a particular challenge for students with learning disabilities, especially students with ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, said Martha Moriarty, executive director of Learning Disabilities Association of Minnesota, a nonprofit providing advocacy, assessment, intervention and outreach for children, adults and families impacted by learning disabilities.

“The child with the learning disability is going to be at a lesser advantage in distance-learning situations. A child with ADHD who is already struggling with organizing the work online or focusing and completing those tasks is also going to be further and further behind peers who are able to keep up with the distance learning approach.”

Some young people’s responses to baked-in anxiety of the times can actually mimic the symptoms of ADHD, Moriarty added. “A lot of kids, even those without a diagnosed learning disability, might be struggling in school during this moment in time. When you are under stress, your brain’s executive functions are taxed.” Those executive functions can include those that tell the brain how to plan and organize tasks, she explained: “A classic stress response often looks like ADHD.”

“I think just about everybody in the state is looking for the finish line here,” she said. “Can we just make it through? It’s all been so very overwhelming for families.” And since some learning disabilities like ADHD can run in families, parents may be facing many of the same struggles as their children. “This is an overwhelming situation for the family unit, keeping up with work at home and keeping up with their children’s assignments. It’s exhausting — and many of us are just ready to finally be done.”

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Aoife Dooley: Why we all need to talk about adult autism
By Denise O’Donoghue

June 22, 2020

Aoife [...] was diagnosed with autism at the age of 27 and she says it gave her a greater understanding of herself. “It was surreal, if I’m being honest, and I’ve learned a lot about myself and others,” Aoife says.

“I spent my whole life trying to fit in to please others when I knew deep down that I was different but couldn’t articulate why I was different. I got to the stage where I would rather draw in my room than spend time with people my age because it wasn’t just about me feeling a bit different but how others made me feel about myself because I was different.

“It’s like you’re constantly looking for an answer you don’t know the question to.”

Aoife says she didn’t realise the extent of the autism spectrum until her own diagnosis. “When you get a diagnosis as an adult it’s bizarre because everything and nothing changes at the same time. You’re still you, but now you have the tools to understand who you are and how you work. A lot of people don’t understand what autism is or how vast the spectrum actually is and I was definitely one of those people; I hadn’t a clue.”

"People don’t realise that without autistic minds we would not have the technology, music, art, amongst other amazing things, that we have today.”

Speech and language therapist Dr Caroline Winstanley believes a diagnosis can ease a patient’s anxious feelings and allow loved ones to support them better. “Just receiving a diagnosis can be a great source of relief and a useful framework for understanding their early life experiences and also helping partners, wives, husbands, family members, employers, and friends understand and support them better,” she says.

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Twitter thread by Pete Wharmby

@commaficionado

June 24, 2020

What is #autism?

A thread. Please share as my mission is to raise awareness and acceptance.

What I want next

What I want next: A new way to figure out what you want - and how to get itby Cathy BonnerFebruary 1, 2007 edition of Women's Day magazine

What I want next process:
There are no limits, no boundaries. Write down whatever comes to your mind, personal or professional, as large or small as you imagine.

Spend three minutes listing items to answer this question: "By the end of my life, what do I want to have done?"

Spend three minutes listing items to answer this question: "By one year from today, what do I want to have done?"

Spend three minutes listing items to answer this question: "I just found out I have 30 days to live. What do I want to have experienced in this last month of my life?"

Circle the three most important items to you from each of the first three steps. Combine repeated item answers into a single goal. List your top three goals for Steps 1, 2, and 3. You may have fewer than nine goals after combining duplicates into one goal.

Now, look at your schedule for the coming week. For each goal you listed, make time on next week's calendar to take a specific action toward accomplishing that goal. Write down the action you will take, and the specific day and time when you will spend at least an hour working on it.
Goal:
Action:
Day/Time:

Be realistic. If you can't easily think of an action to take or don't want to spend an hour to move forward on it, then cross that goal off your list. Now you have your final list of your most important goals, an action to propel you toward each goal and a specific time to take that action. If you crossed a goal off the final list, don't be concerned. It probably wasn't that important o you.

Take a look at the list of all the goals still left. Study it. Search for broader themes about what you want to do next. What do these goals say about who you really are and what you want?

Take a wide view of your goals so you can complete the following sentence: "What I want next is ..."

46 things I'm thankful for

46 things I'm thankful for since my last birthday (in alpha order):

1. Ability to afford getting roof re-done
2. A car (Kia) that works well)
3. A van (Grand Caravan) that works well
4. Beautiful flowers from friend “J”
5. Clean, hot water to shower
6. Daughter
7. Delicious birthday breakfast, lunch, and dinner
8. Dryer that works
9. Fabulous birthday cake from friend “J”
10. Family Zoom meetings
11. Freshly painted kitchen
12. Friend "C"
13. Friend "J"
14. Fun socks (“good vibes,” “ringmaster”)
15. Garden gloves I forgot I’d ordered arrived and they’re lovely
16. God’s love and mercy
17. Great co-workers
18. Husband’s kindness towards me
19. Kids doing chores fairly well
20. Kids doing school work independently
21. Manager (M) I work well with
22. Medication to manage my depression
23. More interactions with neighbours
24. My home - we have the space we need for our family
25. My husband J who works hard and takes care of me
26. My neighbourhood - safe & calm. Sitting on my porch is like being at a cottage. Trees, birdsong, squirrels, and bunnies.
27. No shortage of toilet paper (that’s a Covid-19 joke)
28. Online church services
29. Our investments are doing ok
30. Plenty of food options
31. Seedlings growing in my dining room
32. Socially distanced dinner with my Dad
33. Socially distanced lunch with friend “C”
34. Socially distanced quick visit from friend “J”
35. Son 1
36. Son 1 is passing his Grade 10 courses
37. Son 2
38. Son 3
39. Sunshine
40. The ability to video chat
41. The ability to work from home
42. Walks with my daughter and youngest son
43. Washing machine that works
44. We are all healthy - no one in my home, extended family, or friends has caught Covid-19
45. We are financially secure
46. “Joyful” t-shirt is beautiful

Autism Article Round-Up: May 2020

I Self‑Diagnosed My Autism Because Nobody Else Would. Here’s Why That Needs to Change.

by Rakshita Shekhar
May 23, 2020

A formal autism diagnosis can facilitate the development of self-awareness, social identity, and self-compassion. It can empower an individual to assert themselves with others, and receive timely access to services and help. 

Clinicians tend to be on the lookout for explicitly visible features, as decades of autism research has taught them to be, unaware of the presentations in people with high IQs, typical speaking abilities, and females. 

Currently, the ADOS – 2 — an assessment of communication, social interaction, play, and restricted and repetitive behaviors — is the only valid diagnostic tool for adults. But it is susceptible to false negatives in the case of females and adults who have high intellectual and/or camouflaging abilities, often reflecting the biases of the scientists who created them.

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Sharing the Spectrum Podcast

Dr. Grandin re: COVID:  “Too many kids are getting too overprotected and they aren't learning basic skills like shopping and laundry, cooking. Okay, they're at home, they could learn that now. That's something that they could learn.”

2020 Home Goals: basement bathroom

One of my goals for this year was to get the kitchen walls evened out, sanded, and repainted.

My husband built the bathroom from scratch in 2009 and we painted a bright yellow since it was in the basement and we wanted it to feel cheery.

Before

Now that it has become our bathroom (we moved our bedroom to the basement in August 2019), I wanted something more soothing.

We chose "Garden Fairy" by Behr.

After

Venturing out to the grocery store

Since my husband is out at work (I'm working from home), he does the groceries. Today was my first time going to a grocery store since March 23rd. Two months ago. 66 days without being out to a store.

My goal was "exposure therapy" so I took a very short list of items.

I wore my mask, waited to get a cart. 
Waited to enter the vestibule. 
Used the sanitizer wipe on the cart handles. Applied hand sanitizer.
 

Went in and picked up the bananas. 
Picked up the wrong package of hamburger buns but felt I had to take them since I had touched them. 
Loaf of bread.

Was about to go down an aisle and realized there were directional signs.

 

Eggs. Coffee cream. Milk.

Waited for people to finish in front of me so I could move forward.

Three bags of pretzels. Four large party size Doritos bags. A chocolate bar.

My glasses fogged up. I took slow breaths. 
Everyone was solemn, like in a funeral home.

I lined up for the check-out. 

Spoke to the cashier through plexiglass. 

Packed my grocery items into my bags. 

I was in the store for less than 30 minutes.

Transferred them to my car trunk. Returned the cart. Drove home.

Burst into the house in tears, overwhelmed and close to hyperventilating.

Clearly I'm going to have to do this several more times before I return to a physical workplace.

2020 Home Goals: kitchen

One of my goals for this year was to get the kitchen walls evened out, sanded, and repainted.

Before:

Pre-covid we bought a paint that I hoped would be a soothing colour in a room that teems with energy during meals with four children!

The shade is "Jade Mountain," by Behr

After (May 2020):

The original grey-blue was obviously a more relaxing colour, but I'm glad to have a happier colour during such a bleak year.

How we are handling COVID-19 two months later

The week leading into March Break I shared my plan of how we were going to handle COVID-19 changes in our home.

Now two months later, here's a update.



Work
Wednesday, March 18 was my last day in my library building. We were sent home to work and part-timers were laid off on April 16.

I work full-time at home, 7 hours a day in front of my computer. In addition to continue to supervise my remaining full-time staff, I'm leading the Online Reference Team, book reviews, working on staff appraisals, reports, professional development, etc.

Husband continues to work outside the home as his business is essential. He wears a mask. When my husband isn't home my kids are left to fend for themselves. 

School
The older kids sleep in until noon, the younger ones play together and make crafts or read. School is 12:30-3 for Grade 10, 1-3 for Grade 8, 2-3 for Grades 5 and 3. I emailed the teachers and told them I couldn't do more than what the Ministry of Education mandates. In addition to their online learning, 3 of them have Google Hangouts with their teachers once or twice a week. 

Piano lessons take place via Zoom once a week and I'm impressed with their teacher and their ability to adapt to this format.

Family
We are still doing pretty well limiting the kids' recreational screen time to 2 hours a day, however the evenings include watching TV for a couple of hours. I just don't have the energy for any more togetherness.

Once a week my siblings, parents, and any nieces and nephews who want to join get together on Zoom to catch up. This is something I hope we can continue past the pandemic.

Church
We attend weekly by viewing the service online. We attend a weekly small group via Zoom and the two older boys attend their respective youth programs weekly via Zoom.

Celebrations
We have celebrated Easter, Passover, Mother's Day, two friends' birthdays all virtually.

Boredom
I read (in this order):
The Death of Mrs. Westaway, by Ruth Ware
Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, by Kim John Payne
Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive, by Jessica Turner
Lightly: How to Live a Simple, Serene, and Stress-free Life, by Francine Jay
The One, by John Marrs
Such a Fun Age, by Kiley Reid
American Dirt, by Jeanine Cummins
The Testing trilogy (The Testing, Independent Study, and Graduation Day) by Joelle Charbonneau

I subscribed to CRAVE and binge watched The Good Doctor, The Handmaid's Tale, and have started Orphan Black.

How about you? How have you adapted during this time?