Book Review: "Loved Clothes Last" (de Castro)

Loved Clothes Last: How The Joy Of Rewearing And Repairing Your Clothes Can Be A Revolutionary Act, by Orsola de Castro

Growing up as a child in South America I was often fortunate to have clothes made especially for me by a local seamstress. When we returned to Canada our financial situation meant almost all of our clothes were previously loved. My siblings and I joked that we shopped at "Le Bag," because our clothing came from bags donated to us.

When I worked for an non-profit, I visited a garbage dump where people lived and picked through the trash for items to use and sell. It's unfathomable to me that people actually throw clothing in the garbage (aside from underpants and socks). Thrift stores can sell damaged textiles, and the blanket or towel that's not good enough for humans is appreciated by pet shelters.

I can't stomach the price of brand new clothing and I'm disappointed by the lack of selection in stores. Shopping at Salvation Army thrift stores means I can find a massive selection of brands and styles in my size, and almost everything is "one of a kind." 

MEND - REPAIR - REWEAR

Over 75% of the 53 million tonnes of textiles produced globally every year are discarded.

"Antoine Delavoisier, considered to be the father of modern chemistry, said that in nature, nothing is created and nothing is destroyed, but everything is transformed. Our clothes pass through us and keep on living for a long time after we throw them away, because there is no 'away.' In fact, except for the small percentage of fibres that are turned back into other fibres (1% according to the Ellen MacArthur Foundation), everything you have ever owned, and thrown, is still here, in one shape or another: either enriching someone else's life, because it is true that one person's trash can be another person's treasure, or poisoning a landfill close to your home, or close to somebody else's home."

"Whether you have 'invested' in a designer shirt or whether you buy high-street stuff, the same recipe applies: when it breaks, don't give up - have it fixed. The shirt will benefit, your community will benefit, as will the planet and the people who make our clothes: because theca of caring for your clothes [...] is a powerful signal for brands. Just as important as voting with your wallet, you are voting with your common sense, and you are saying: Slow down, we have enough; we want better - not more. See? You are starting to go somewhere way further than your local dry cleaner, because you are actively walking towards a more considerate, intelligent future."

MENDING IS A REVOLUTIONARY ACT

"Mending techniques themselves have an intrinsic beauty, requiring precision combined with resourcefulness [...] because if we look at mending through that lens, we can clearly see that each piece we repair is spectacular, unique, the product of artistry, invention and our time.

Making mending visible is a declaration of intent. [...] we mean to mend our trousers as we mend our environment; we will repair our broken clothes and the broken systems alike."

While I struggle with a sewing machine, I am handy enough with a needle and thread and can mend missing buttons, holes, and hems. I still don't give a darn about darning socks though... maybe an actual darner would make it smoother but with my stitching I think it's lumpy and uncomfortable. I have also drawn the line at making headbands and scrunchies out of sock cuffs. I do what I can where I can and I think if we all do just a little more it makes a difference.

"TAKING THE TIME TO MAKE SOMETHING FROM NOTHING IS A POLITICAL ACT IN A WORLD DRIVEN BY OVERCONSUMPTION."

"It takes four days for a major fashion CEO to earn what a female garment worker in Bangladesh will earn in her entire lifetime, according to Oxfam's Reward Work, Not Wealth paper of January 2018."

de Castro shares a fairly hilarious description of an anatomical analysis of modern jeans: "I concluded that he must have spent quite a bit of time rubbing his thighs with something rough. At one point he might have been mauled by a dog that bit his right leg, or perhaps he stumped upon some sharp object..." and that this person was telling us "quite openly, via the trousers that he wore - that he had been suffering from such a prolonged and severe case of diarrhoea! [...] I have progressed to identify several distress designs that tell the story of some distinctly eccentric life choices, or terrible illnesses."

This book has an interesting style, with the overall font feeling a little small but interspersed with larger font and images. It includes a Further Reading section with titles of books; films and documentaries; and zines, publications, and online resources. The final chapter, "All Together Now," has monthly suggestions for action.

Book Review: "Building a Life Worth Living" (Lineham)

Building a Life Worth Living is a memoir by Marsha Lineham, developer of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT).

You can see a free preview here.

I skimmed parts of it as my primary interest was in getting to how she developed DBT. 

I took copious notes to refer back to as I'm amazed by how well this therapy works, in particular in suicidal individuals. It seemed to me that for many individuals this model of therapy works far better than trying to make sense of one's past. This is perhaps more a collection of my key notes that a true book review. Most of the content is quotes from Lineham's book, although I have not put quotes around everything.

Lineham says: "You can't think yourself into new ways of acting; you can only act yourself into new ways of thinking."

She is a spiritual person and also someone who was suicidal, so she brings these lenses to the development of distress tolerance skills. "I saw that my clients very probably had experienced an invalidating environment for much of their lives, and probably a traumatic invalidating environment."

Lineham reminds us that pain and distress are part of life; they cannot be avoided or removed. Learning how to tolerate and accept distress is part of change towards self-improvement. The goal of skills training is to give people a means of being effective in their worlds - in the relational world and the practical world. The skills engender mindfulness. Learning mindfulness skills will lead to other behaviour changes that help people function more effectively in the world.

The dialectical aspect of this model means the balance of opposites and the coming to a synthesis of two opposites. To me this means we learn to balance (or tolerate) the distress in life with accepting this life as worth living.

The concept of "willingness" speaks to letting go of battles you will never win, and even some you could win. Letting go of being right, even when you are right. With willingness, you accept with grace what is happening.

Acceptance is acknowledging or recognizing facts that are true and letting go of fighting your reality. Radical Acceptance is accepting all the way, with your mind, your heart, and your body - opening yourself to fully experience reality as it is in this one moment. If you practice turning the mind toward acceptance, eventually you'll practice acceptance more often and suffering will go down to being ordinary pain.

The acceptance part reminds me of the lesser known continuation of the Twelve Step program's Serenity Prayer:

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Mindfulness practice is the repeated effort of bringing the mind back to awareness of the present moment, letting go of judgements and of attachment to life situations. Strength to bear the suffering of our lives is also in this moment. Mindfulness is just this breath, just this step, just this struggle.

Mindfulness skills help to balance emotion mind with reasonable mind, with the goal of making wise decisions using the wise mind. 

You are more than your diagnosis. You have made bad decisions in the past, but you still have the capacity for wisdom, you have the capacity to know what is right for you. The opposite of dysfunction is functional behaviour.

Being able to practice mindfulness and wise mind is a key step in the journey toward building a life experienced as worth living. Wise mind creates a new context where a person can access effective behaviour or wisdom.

Included in the book is a "Reasons for Living Inventory by Subscale," a helpful tool to help those who may feel their life is not worth living. Lineham asks "If we can find a way to get your life to be experienced as worth living, would you be willing to work on finding that?"

I would recommend this book for people wanting to understand loved ones with suicidal ideation, or people who have some knowledge of DBT and are curious about its origins.

Thoughts and Prayers

I recently had a conversation where someone told me about the thousands (or maybe there said hundreds of thousands) of people praying for the situation in the Ukraine.

I didn't think that was enough. The response to any kind of tragedy seems to always be "thoughts and prayers." Perhaps church people who don't have contact with those outside of those walls don't understand how empty and meaningless that comes across.

The Bible says that faith without works is dead. To me that means that "thoughts and prayers" without action is not enough. 

I find prayer confusing sometimes. I see Christians throwing it around like it's a vote and if enough people pray then the "right" outcome will come to pass. Some say "prayer moves the hand of God," others say "prayer changes you." Probably both are true, but I'm not sure if they're in the Bible.

I pray because I believe. Jesus said we could ask for anything in His name and the Father would hear, so I pray. I do think that prayer changes me - it puts my, and the world's problems into God's hands rather than mine. But this is also what I think makes people think they "did something," when all they did was think or utter some thoughts and prayers...

What does action look like other than thoughts and prayers?

- donating funds

- donating time

- donating energy

Calling and writing MPs, MPPs, the PM and asking for Canada to be involved in protecting innocent lives. Ask them if engaging in a war will help, or mainly put more young people at risk. Ask that they put Canadian lives first, and that they only take actions that will decrease the risk of widening war, not increase it. 

Finding out how to welcome refugees - any kinds - and gather items for them. This could cost nothing other than your time and gas to collect free items to furnish a home.

I know WMTC will have tons more ideas of what activism could look like - I look forward to your comments!

Bullet journaling

In January I started keeping track on paper of the important things I need to remember to do each day. I still use Google calendar, which is shared with my husband so he knows what's going on and where. I like having something analog to hold and write in. I consult my little book in the morning, throughout the day, and at night as I check things off. 

My little book is almost full and then I'm moving to a slightly bigger one. I realized lately that I was actually doing a modified bullet journal so I decided to research bullet journaling to take better advantage of it. The main thing seems to be that the "official" ones have dots instead of lines. I also appreciate that they come paginated, right now I'm having to hand number each page.

For more info, look for the book "The Bullet Journal Method," by Ryder Carroll, which you can hopefully find at your local Library. I have also been enjoying the videos on YouTube, though it took me a bit to get used to seeing only Ryder's hands gesticulating as he talked.

The author's website is https://bulletjournal.com/ and it has a robust blog full of people sharing how they use their "BuJo."