Saturday, December 30, 2017

Perchance to sleep

Tonight we are starting something new to try to help our 13 year old son with ADHD and ASD to sleep better.

As a Librarian, I often hear from parents who are corncerned that their children don't enjoy reading and don't read enough. My own reality is far from that as my 4 children, and my husband and myself, are all avid readers.
Our kids are given 30 minutes from bedtime to lights out time to enjoy some final reading for the day. Unfortunately my 13yo has trouble falling asleep and will read through multiple books in bed until very very late. At some point he may also go and make a snack in the kitchen - sometimes a noisy and messy process. In order to get enough sleep to care for my other children and to function at work I had to stop trying to stay awake until he fell asleep.

We are receiving some valuable guidance from our sister-in-law, who is the Director of Curricula & Assistant Clinical Director at a global organization that works to resolve the behavioral, intellectual, social, emotional, cognitive and academic needs of individuals and families. She is very generously working with our son on his social skills, as well as supporting us emotionally and helping us to develop more advanced parenting skills.

Since we've identified that reading is a stimulating activity at bedtime, tonight we took the extreme (to us) step of removing the approximately 100 books he had in his room and put them behind locked doors in the basement. The plan is to allow him to only read in the living room, so that his bed is a place for sleep. For the first week we'll allow him to have three books a night - it sounds like a lot but is fewer than his norm. Two books the second week, one book the third week.

Hopefully we don't see this backfire at school, where he may end up reading through all his classes. We'll keep the teachers informed and tell him his online gaming time will be reduced if that happens.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

Family Caregiver leave vs benefit

We are so fortunate in Canada to have various options to allow us to keep our jobs while caring for our children and other loved ones. Sometimes we can even qualify for "EI" (Employment Insurance) and receive some payment while doing so.

With my son's recent Autism Spectrum diagnosis, I was able to take a year's Leave of Absence from work. I was guaranteed an "unpaid, job-protected leave of up to eight weeks per calendar year per specified family member" by the government, but my Collective Agreement language is so strong that I could take much more than that.

Someone suggested I check to see if I could also get some EI payments during this leave so I looked into it. I found information for a Family Caregiver benefit and applied for it. I received a phone call from a very kind government official who needed more paperwork about what she thought was my critically ill child. I was very confused because she said the paperwork I sent in, signed by the psychologist, was insufficient and that I needed something from my doctor. When I looked at the forms she directed me to it was clear that this was not the benefit for me!

After much searching, it turned out that the government gave very similar names to two completely different programs/benefits!


Family Caregiver Leave
Family caregiver leave is unpaid, job-protected leave of up to eight weeks per calendar year per specified family member.

Family Caregiver benefit
The Family Caregiver Benefit for Children (the Benefit) allows eligible caregivers to receive up to 35 weeks of financial assistance to provide care or support to a critically ill or injured child.
Sharing this in the hopes that it may help someone else and save them time and effort.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

La lutte final de l'ancien combattant

Below is my recounting of the the death of my grandfather (aka "The Captain") on September 4th at 1:50 a.m.

If you are uncomfortable reading the specifics of dying please stop reading here. 

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I received a message from my cousin on August 30th at 8:00 p.m. saying this about my grandfather:

"He refuses to eat or drink or take his medication. After several attempts, and different methods it has been decided for humane reasons, to no longer use force or heroic measures to maintain his health. My Dad (Danny) has been advised by Grampa`s doctor that it is only a matter of time and that he is comfortable. My father has seen a rapid change in the last 3 days.


On Sunday, September 3rd my Dad picked me up from my home at 2:00 p.m. We shared the driving and decided to drive straight to Quebec instead of stopping at Auntie Sandra's in an Ontario city an hour away as we heard from Uncle Don that Grandpa really wasn't doing well. He was given a morphine injection around 5 p.m.

We got to the hospital around 7:15 p.m. When we got to the parking lot we called uncle Don and he said Grandpa was really bad. We  had to sign in with security and were worried we were going to get to Grandpa's room too late. I sent Dad on ahead of me while I hastily filled in the sign in sheet.


I went up to the 7th floor and arrived in room 723 out of breath. Grandpa was convulsing, his eyes rolled back in his head, making noise and appearing to be in pain. Uncle Don was sitting on Grandpa's right and Auntie Diane was on Grandpa's left. Auntie Diane moved and Dad held Grandpa's left hand and I stroked Grandpa's forehead and put my other hand on his chest. Dad prayed for him and we spoke to Grandpa until the morphine shot they'd given him at 7 p.m. kicked in.

After a bit Dad, Uncle Don, and Auntie Diane stepped out for some fresh air while I stayed with Grandpa. His breathing was quick but regular and I couldn't hear the chest rattle at that point. They returned to the room and Uncle Tony and Auntie Ruby arrived around 8:30 p.m.

Grandpa wasn't due for another morphine shot until 11 p.m. but around 9 p.m. he started convulsing and crying out again. The doctor agreed to give him a partial dose of morphine to help him manage until 11 pm. Dad, Uncle Don, and Uncle Tony said their goodbyes and left. Uncle Tony to Don Junior's, and Dad to Uncle Don's. 

I suggested we put some rolled wash cloths in Grandpa's clenched fists so his nails wouldn't cut into his hands. When he would get agitated Auntie Diane would stand near his head and stroke his forehead and talk to him about all the people he would see when he passed. We told him he'd completed his work here and was free to go.It seems those who are passing benefit from being told this and reassured that it's ok for them to go.

Auntie Diane, Auntie Ruby, and I recited Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
We sang and hummed parts of "This is My Father's World"
This is my Father’s world,And to my listening earsAll nature sings, and round me ringsThe music of the spheres.This is my Father’s world:I rest me in the thoughtOf rocks and trees, of skies and seas;His hand the wonders wrought. 
This is my Father’s world,The birds their carols raise,The morning light, the lily white,Declare their maker’s praise.This is my Father’s world:He shines in all that’s fair;In the rustling grass I hear Him pass;He speaks to me everywhere. 
This is my Father’s world.O let me ne’er forgetThat though the wrongSeems oft so strong,God is the ruler yet.This is my Father’s world:The battle is not done:Jesus who died shall be satisfied,And earth and Heav’n be one.
At 11 p.m. the nurse administered morphine and Grandpa was changed and repositioned to try to make him more comfortable. During this time Auntie Diane, Auntie Ruby, and I went downstairs to look for some food and drink and we walked around for a bit before going back up to Grandpa's room.

At midnight he was taking a breath every 2 seconds. By 1 a.m. we could hear the chest rattle and the nurses returned and gave Grandpa another shot of morphine as well as an anti-convulsant. From then on he was more peaceful and we kept watch as his breathing slowed more and more. It slowed to a breath every 3 seconds, then every 4, then every 8. He went 9 seconds a couple of times, then 10. 

At 1:50 a.m. on September 4th Grandpa stopped breathing so quietly that we weren't sure if he had passed. His colour began to change from a creamy colour to a yellowish colour. The nurse came by and checked his breathing and pulse then had another nurse come with a blood pressure cuff and stethoscope. The nurse listening to his chest teared up and offered her condolences. 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Working on Zero-Waste


I recently finished reading The Zero-Waste Lifestyle by 


The Zero-Waste Lifestyle

This book is described on Goodreads as:
"A practical guide to generating less waste, featuring meaningful and achievable strategies from the blogger behind The Green Garbage Project, a yearlong experiment in living garbage-free.
Trash is a big, dirty problem. The average American tosses out nearly 2,000 pounds of garbage every year that piles up in landfills and threatens our air and water quality. You do your part to reduce, reuse, and recycle, but is it enough? 
In The Zero-Waste Lifestyle, Amy Korst shows you how to lead a healthier, happier, and more sustainable life by generating less garbage. Drawing from lessons she learned during a yearlong experiment in zero-waste living, Amy outlines hundreds of easy ideas—from the simple to the radical—for consuming and throwing away less, with low-impact tips on the best ways to:
•  Buy eggs from a local farm instead of the grocery store•  Start a worm bin for composting•  Grow your own loofah sponges and mix up eco-friendly cleaning solutions•  Purchase gently used items and donate them when you’re finished•  Shop the bulk aisle and keep reusable bags in your purse or car•  Bring your own containers for take-out or restaurant leftovers 
By eliminating unnecessary items in every aspect of your life, these meaningful and achievable strategies will help you save time and money, support local businesses, decrease litter, reduce your toxic exposure, eat well, become more self-sufficient, and preserve the planet for future generations."

The book is broken down into 3 parts: Getting Started, Trash-Free Challenges, and Next Steps. It also includes an An A-to-Z Guide to Recycling (Just About) Anything, Further Reading, and a Bibliography. In the first part you get the context for why this book is needed (A Trashed Planet), and then you are helped to develop a plan to go waste free, reduce and reuse, recycle, and deal with organic waste.

Part 2 walks you though your home as you find ways to apply a more "zero-waste" lifestyle in each area. It covers the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, cleaning, kids, travel, the workplace, and holidays and special occasions. My favourite part at the end of each chapter is the list of Easy, Moderate, and Advanced things we can do to work towards a zero-waste lifestyle.

Looking through the lists I found many ideas that I could apply right away:- already in progress is wild-flowering our front lawn
- added an organics bag in a basket in the laundry room (for dryer lint) and in the bathroom (for hair, nail clippings, and Q-tips that don't have plastic)
- added a recycling bin to basement (previously we only had the one upstairs
- removed garbage cans from bedrooms so that all waste will be diverted and sorted correctly
- created a reusable kit for my car and work - these contain a travel mug for hot drinks, a stainless steel water bottle, a cloth napkin, reuseable utensils, and a reusable container. Now I can use my travel mug when buying coffee and I can request no paper napkin or utensils if I buy take out. I can use my reuseable container to package any leftovers when I eat at a restaurant.
- reused some prescription bottles to create little sewing kits for work, the car, and the van
Kids Konserve - Stainless Steel Drinking Straws- bought two stainless steel straws. I had already started ordering my water "no ice, no straw" (the ice hurts my teeth if I don't use a straw) and now I can just say "no straw" and enjoy the cold water with my own straw. Glass ones were very difficult to find and I couldn't find anything in my area. I'm going to be adding one of these beautiful inspirational ones to my Christmas wish list.
- bought mesh bags to use for produce instead of using the plastic bags at the store
- bought a DivaCup! And I love it! I may even create a separate post about it because it's so fantastic! I have been using cloth panty liners and pads for about 12 years but this DivaCup is a whole new level up! More importantly, consider this: If the average woman menstruates for forty years and uses approximately 20 tampons per cycle (240 tampons each year) she uses 9,600 of these items during her entire menstrual life cycle. [http://divacup.com/eco-divas/] That's a lot of garbage we're producing.

and some that I've added to my "to do" list:
- get a rain barrel - this has been on the list for a while, but now I have the date and time on my calendar to purchase one from my region
- take reusable containers when shopping at Bulk Barn
- switch from dryer sheets to liquid fabric softener since the dryer sheets go to the landfill
- use coloured pencils where possible instead of pens since pens generate landfill, pencil shavings can go in the organics bin
- get a staple-free stapler
- save comics & maps work to use as gift wrap since they can be recycled and most gift wrap can't
- when buying clothes choose woool, leather, silk, cotton, hemp, or linen since they break down and synthetic materials don't

What about you? What can you do to reduce your footprint on the earth?