Friday, October 22, 2021

Aspirational Self

As a Librarian, one of my "job hazards" is my never-ending "to be read" (TBR) list. Recommendations from colleagues, friends, and customers get on the list. And I feel it's my duty to add books of various genres from new book lists. At the beginning of this year I compiled my TBR lists from my two library accounts (where I work and where I live) and Goodreads and narrowed it down to 111 titles.

Since January I have read (including those I abandoned) 70 books and am currently reading 4 so I am probably on track to finish 98 by the end of the year.

One of the books I'm currently reading is "Organized Enough: The Anti-Perfectionist's Guide to Getting—and Staying—Organized," by Helen Amanda Sullivan. Chapter 5 is called "Who Are You Now? or, Will You Really Use That Bread Maker?" It speaks about our aspirational selves - the people we think we want to be, the ones we keep stuff around for that we don't actually use.

It made me think about my aspirational self as a Librarian. Could I be a Librarian who didn't feel compelled to always be reading? To always be adding so many titles to my TBR list that I would need an extra lifetime to finish them? 

What I've noticed is that even when I have guilt-free time to read (meaning the laundry and administrative tasks at home are done), I don't dive into my TBR pile. Could it be that the pile is for my aspirational self and that maybe I don't want to read so much? 

Does that mess with my identity as a Librarian? Or as an intellectual? Or as a "productive" person? Reading is generally not seen as a waste of time (though some genres are vilified), whereas watching a movie or sitting and staring at the trees might be.

I'm going to try to keep letting go of collecting things for my aspiration self - including books. Although they are on loan and theoretically not taking up permanent space in my home, in reality they are permanent guests with their own shelves. I feel guilty for having them here instead of letting them be discovered by someone else in the Library, I feel badly for ignoring them.

So... time to send them back. This is the pile (minus two on lettering) currently taking up space in my mind. The Bible on top is a Catholic Bible because I want to read the Apocrypha books, I have already read the whole Protestant Bible.


I am going to narrow it down to three. Wish me luck!
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3 comments:

  1. laura kOctober 23, 2021 at 11:08 AM

    Does that mess with my identity as a Librarian? Or as an intellectual? Or as a "productive" person?

    I totally and utterly relate to this post! You once gave me "permission" to let go of an aspirational reading goal, and it was very liberating. That made me think about other goals that are more burden than inspiration.

    The aspirational goals I want to shed aren't reading goals. My to-read list contains many hundreds of titles, more titles than I ever would or could read in my lifetime -- but I do use the list on a regular basis to find my next read.

    So the details may be different, but the idea is the same. We need fewer goals, and more space to just be, without direction.

    Thank you!

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  2. laura kOctober 23, 2021 at 11:11 AM

    One more thing. :)

    I've been living with the concept of "organized enough" or "[whatever] enough" for a long time, and it's been hugely helpful. Does this technology / social media platform / trend / fad / way to clean / organizing concept (etc.) help me, add to my life in a positive way, or am I perfectly fine without it? I've resisted many trends this way, and it's helped me stay focused on the things that are important to me.

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    1. With God's HelpOctober 23, 2021 at 12:40 PM

      Your 85% was a great way for me to look at "good enough." It's so freeing letting go of aspirational stuff. Today it's goodbye crockpot and knitting supplies.

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